Another Milestone...

Today was my last weekly visit at PHC for weigh-ins. I am somewhat "off the leash" now - I only have to go once every two weeks to check my status.

 

I had them look up my stats today. When I started on my maintenance plan, I weighed 215 pounds on their scale (that's fully clothed, including shoes). During most of the summer, I held my weight at a very consistent 216 pounds. I recently regressed upwards, but all in all, I'm only about 6 pounds heavier than I was six months ago, and I'm currently on the way down again. My goal is to hit 208 on the PHC scale - that will put me right at my lowest reasonable weight, which is what I weighed before that insane push to the end of the competition, when I lost 9 pounds in 11 days just for the privilege of being able to say I broke the 200 pound barrier.

 

There was a fair amount of external pressure to get below 200, and I suppose it fueled my inner desire to do it, as well. But with a penultimate weigh-in of 208 pounds, I would have still won the competition - my closest competitor was 18 pounds away. I guess now the motivation to get back down to that 208 number is the fit of my clothes and the shape I see in the mirror. It won't happen by next weigh-in, because that would be a pound a day, and those days are long gone. Besides, I don't want to do it the way we finished. The push of the contest drove most of us to near-starving diets and excessive workouts (we're talking THE Biggest Loser-style workouts - 4-5 hours a day is what we were being encouraged to do, for the final 11 days, and those workouts would consist of the highest calorie-burning exercises our trainer could find). No, not going there again. It will come, though, in time.

Confessional, and Thoughts On Getting Back On Track

Well, I'm back to blogging.
 

I have officially hit the point on my weight loss journey where it's time to REALLY get serious. I looked in the mirror; I looked at the scale. I know, I know... "I'm up." My friends have heard it all before. But I am officially higher, MUCH higher, than I want to be.
 

I know where I got derailed. Before I lost weight, my thing was fast food and starches. I wasn't really too big (pun intended) on sugar and candy, particularly chocolate. But with the onset of our Awana children's ministry year, we began keeping chocolate and sodas in the Awana office as a respite for our Awana workers on Wednesday nights. Some of them are convinced that enough chocolate and caffeine will help them keep up with the stress, I think. Well, I would come through the office, or near the office, during the week, and stop by and grab a small handful of little chocolate candies. After all, they're really little - mostly those little bite-sized Hershey milk chocolate, dark chocolate, Mr. Goodbar, and Krackle bars. Sometimes bite-sized Snickers, Milky Way, and Three Musketeers. I'd scarf that handful down, and later on, I'd do it again. Two or three times a day I would do this. I wasn't stealing them, because I paid for them out of my own pocket... and I always made sure that there was plenty for the workers on Wednesday night.
 

I'd inch up a little on the scale, and would tell the PHC folks, "It's just water - it will come right back off." And more often than not, I was exactly right. I held my weight very well between 215 and 217 throughout the summer, at one point holding it dead on 216 for 6 weeks in a row. But Awana started up, the candy became easier to get to, and I began seeing the scale inch up. We went to Florida in early November, and I have to confess that I pretty much ate a whole bag of them on the way there (I was driving, and trying to stay alert). On the way back, I bought another bag, and ate some of those. I bravely put the rest in the Awana office when we got back.... and ate on them the week after.
 

"Facts are our friends", Johnny Hunt likes to say, and so I finally looked on a bag of those little chocolates to see what kind of calories I had been casually tossing back. THREE of those little bite-sized bars are a serving, and they range from 40 to about 70 calories PER PIECE. Ten or twelve of those bars, and I was unwittingly (or deliberately ignorantly) consuming an entire day's worth of calories when compared to what I was eating during the competition (about 900 calories a day). Then breakfast, lunch, and dinner on top of all that, plus a couple of snacks, and I came to the stark realization that I was consuming upwards of 2000 calories a day. Note: you cannot lose weight on 2000 calories per day. For someone my size, that will be a slow, steady gain.
 

Wednesday night I watched, "Where Are They Now?", a Biggest Loser special. I watched as the former winners from seasons 1-9 (minus Michelle from season 6) came into a room for a healthy Thanksgiving meal. With the exception of Danny Cahill, every man had gained a pretty significant amount of weight. Ryan from season 1 had lost 122 pounds en route to his win, but has regained all but 10 pounds of his weight. They are not happy with him, needless to say. Matt from season 2 regained a lot, but continues to be quite athletic in spite of his weight. Season 3's Erik had regained most of his last year, but has taken 162 of it back off, with probably about 40 or so left to lose. Season 4's Bill Germanakos looks "okay", but I doubt he is much below 200 (his finale loss was 170 pounds down). Next was Ali from season 5, who is within 2 pounds of her finale weight. Helen looks "okay"; Danny looks terrific, and Michael still looks like he has a ways to go. I knew most of these results already, but it really brought home to me that if those guys who had all that time on the ranch, all that training, all that knowledge, and all that motivation could stumble, I was certainly not immune. Watching that particular episode has helped to fuel the fire again.
 

I didn't do TOO bad on Thanksgiving for lunch... I made sure I ate only white meat off the turkey, only one bite of ham, loaded up on veggies, and I did try to limit my desserts and starches. That was lunch - dinner was another story altogether. We went out to some friends' house around 7:30 PM, where we had been invited to get "a bite of supper". I ate more than "a bite"... and indulged in desserts. Cornflake candy (2 pc.), white macadamia nut cookies (2), half a chocolate chip cookie, and some kind of chewy bar that was very good - two bites of that.
 

I had a not-so-good meeting with my scale this morning. But I am pleased to report that today, I ate absolutely perfectly. In spite of us having tons of ham, macaroni & cheese, two pies and a cake, I did not cheat a single time today. My total calorie intake was right at where it was during the competition, and with the exception of having to do the workouts on my own, I am in full-blown contest mode. I had two eggs for breakfast, a white-meat-only turkey sandwich on a 100-calorie wheat bun with a slice of low-fat cheese for lunch, and a dinner consisting of 6 ounces of chicken and a cup of steamed broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, etc.
 

To those of you who are still telling me that I look great.... I love you all, and I will politely and humbly accept your compliments. But I'm not going to pay you any attention!

Starting Over...

Well, I had to take an out-of-town trip... and as my wife pointed out to me, I ate too much chocolate, chicken and dumplings, biscuits, etc. on the trip and at my mother-in-law's house. I had not been there in a year and a half, so no one down there had seen "the new me". Took a few copies of CSRA Active to show the family, and also took my Biggest Loser scrapbook. It was fun re-living the experience of a whole bunch of people who had not seen me, but I knew that even as I was talking about losing weight, I was putting the pounds back on. I did make some attempts to eat right at meals, but I ate a LOT of chocolate trying to stay awake and alert. We stopped at Cracker Barrel, and while everyone was eating pancakes, I had a yogurt, and only a few bites of the HUGE muffin that accompanied it. We hit Steak and Shake about 7 PM Sunday night, and I had a decision to make. And of course, I made the wrong one. I ate what I wanted to, telling myself that I had not eaten at a Steak and Shake in over a year and a half, and I "deserved" it.

 

Got home late Sunday evening and crawled into bed; this morning, I decided to come face to face with the number on the scale... I was hoping against hope that it was not as bad as I thought. It wasn't... it was WORSE. Much worse. Could not wrap my brain around the number being so HIGH!! But I made a conscious decision to not beat myself up... and that I was not going to do the 4-day cleanse that frequently marks our attempts to get back on track. I just decided I was going to do it - get some serious exercise, get the food plan into gear, and do all I knew to do.

 

Fortunately, a big chunk of that number was water retention, which can happen not only with poor eating, but with the sedentary nature of traveling. My horrible number didn't last very long, as I dropped over eight pounds of water weight today; really, just in a matter of a few hours. I got myself back to the gym this morning, and did some serious treadmill sprints, step mill, and other cardio work. I ate absolutely perfectly today - zero cheats, more protein than anything else, and all of my carbs from vegetables and a protein bar. The only thing I missed today was the pedometer, but I will start tomorrow.

 

I know what to do; it's just a matter of doing it. And because it won't "get done" before Thursday, I will have some explaining to do when I show up at PHC Thursday for my weigh-in. And I will "deserve" that, as well!

Closure...

I must admit it's getting harder and harder to keep thinking of new things to write in this blog, particularly concerning weight loss. Up a little, down a little, up a lot, back down... I was grousing to my wife today how tiring it is to try and keep my weight within that little 2-pound window that PHC set for me. One can be up two pounds after a decent meal. She reminded me that this year I have with PHC will fly by, and then it will be all up to me to maintain my weight, without that external accountability. After all, we are already coming up on the one-year anniversary of our selection to participate in the contest, which is only about 7 weeks away.

 

I was also grousing about how my kids never really got on board with what I was doing - neither one of them has looked at a copy of the magazine featuring the Augusta's Biggest Loser competition. Brenda said, "They're probably sick of hearing about it..." So I have come to the conclusion that it's probably time to stop writing about the journey. My entire body of work regarding the competition will remain online - the blog, the photos, etc. are all available on facebook, as well as on my website, http://edchavis.net. I have uploaded a short video of my journey onto youtube, in the hopes that someone who is searching for "weight loss" or "biggest loser" will find some hope and some help. The last bit of publicity is over with - Liz Hill spoke briefly about the magazine on the news Friday morning - but there are no more commercial shoots, interviews, or photo sessions. In my visits to PHC, I see the photos from our contest scattered around the lobby, and I remember every moment when each picture was taken. We have hopes of being involved in the next season of Augusta's Biggest Loser, and when a decision is finally made about the future of the program, I will either be up to my elbows in ABL all over again, or it will be relegated to the memories of the 32 of us who were privileged enough to be given the opportunity of a lifetime. There is the possibility that I will be featured on a national news program, but that will take some months to unfold, if it does happen. We shall see.

 

To those of you who are currently on your own journey, I will continue to stay in touch with you through facebook, your blogs, and email. If there is something noteworthy to report, I will post a new blog entry, or put something on facebook. I remain available any day, anytime you need me.

 

To those of you who simply followed my journey through the past 10 months, I thank you for reading along. Many of you prayed for me, cheered me on, and offered words of encouragement that kept me accountable and moving forward. I am convinced that losing weight is one of the hardest things to undertake in life, and overeating is one of the hardest addictions to break. You can live without cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and an immoral lifestyle, but you can't live without food. One cannot simply divorce themselves from it; one must master it.

 

I want to take one more opportunity to thank those who were directly involved in my journey, many of whom will never read this, but they deserve to be thanked anyway.

 

*NBC Augusta for sponsoring the Augusta's Biggest Loser contest; Jay Jefferies, who handled nearly all the TV interviews and made us feel welcome; Liz Hill, who ALWAYS had something encouraging and positive to say every time I came to the studio, even when she was busy; and Mariah Gardner, for working so hard on the contest as the promotions manager.

 

*Omni Club for their part in sponsoring the contest; Johnnie Hughes for his guidance, encouragement, and counsel as he trained our team; Barry Allison for his diligence in running the weigh-ins and his encouragement to all of us. We didn't always want to hear what he had to say in his post-weigh-in speeches, but if you listened closely, there was always something you could take away from it.

 

*PHC, also for their part in sponsoring the contest. Mark, Donna, Savannah, Pricilla, and Pat - you people are brilliant, caring, and effective. Savannah did most of our counseling; Mark and Donna did our off-the-record counseling when they came to work out at the gym. These people are like family to me, and I look forward to continuing my relationship with them in the future. Also a big thanks to Rob Baker, who manages the location that the blue team worked with. Rob was a constant encouragement even to those of us who weren't on his team, because he understood that ultimately, this wasn't about the teams, it was about the life change that he wanted for all of us.

 

*The Red Team for an amazing 7 months of shared experiences. We usually saw each other about 15 minutes after we dragged ourselves out of bed at 5 AM. Jokes, frustrations, pains, drama, highs, and lows - we experienced all of that, and more, as we worked out together and met at PHC every other week for a group session that usually turned into two hours of counseling. I was closest to Nandy and Charles (Nandy being the co-leader, and Charles being the only other male our our lopsided team), but I will always love and respect all of them. Nandy, Tammy, Bronnie, Lisa, and Charles - if you guys happen to read this, you are the best! Although I never get to see or talk to any of you, there are pictures of you guys in my office, and I think of you all constantly.

 

*The Blue Team - wish we had had more opportunities to do stuff together besides watch each other stand on the scale every Monday. But I learned to really appreciate all that you guys were doing, and in some ways, you guys had a tougher road to travel than we did. Thanks for hanging in there during some hard times. Colin, Tim, Tanner, Ashlee, and Laycee - you guys will always be a part of my experience and memories, as well.

 

Thanks also to my Lumpkin Road Baptist Church family for their encouragement and support. Some of them still tell me that I'm "too skinny" - I know better, but appreciate the advice!

 

This is not the last you will hear from me, but now that everything is over and done, I just wanted to bring a little closure to my experience as an Augusta's Biggest Loser competitor. I got everything I wanted out of the experience, and much, much more.

Uh-Oh....

I wrote last time that I am in my first prolonged struggle with my weight - I'm still there. Many of the obstacles that hinder weight loss (and cause weight gain) all ganged up on me this past weekend. They are the same enemies that prevent many of you from seeing the change on the scales that you want, and I want to write briefly about each factor.

 

1. Lack of proper rest. If you are not getting adequate amounts of rest and sleep, two things occur. One, in order to keep moving and functioning, you substitute food for sleep. Of course, food is not an adequate replacement for sleep, but for many of us, food can produce a small burst of energy or alertness simply because we are participating in an activity that we enjoy. Less sleep = more food. The other negative impact is that a lack of rest pushes your body into survival mode, during which it holds onto fat stores and fails to release excess fluids. More food plus less burn equals weight gain.

 

2. Busyness. When we are busy, it's easier to rationalize eating poorly and not getting any exercise. This may partially explain why, although people are busier than ever, obesity is rampant.

 

3. Lack of accountability. Accountability doesn't have to be in the form of a partner, or a support group. It can be as simple as frequent meetings with the bathroom scale. I read arguments for and against weighing in often; I have found that for me, if I know exactly what the number on the scale is, it directly affects my food choices. The most dangerous place for me is "comfortable", because if my weight is on the low end, I tend to work harder to push it down; if it's up "just a little", I'm not quite as careful with my diet ("one more won't do any more damage"). I have found for me that if I don't weigh every single day, I get more careless. Only one time have I skipped daily weigh-ins and been pleasantly surprised.

 

There are many other reasons for being stuck, but these are the ones that are affecting me right now. The question is, how do I fix it? I just do what I know to do, and stay motivated to change. I subtract out of my diet some of the things I had let back in; I increase my exercise; I increase my fluid intake; and I keep regular (daily, at least) appointments with the scale. For me, it's almost always about the fluid. Yesterday at PHC I was up 5 pounds; that will just about be gone by tomorrow morning.

 

(Insert a 24-hour pause here...)

 

It is now Thursday; Tuesday I was up 5 pounds at PHC; today, I was back down by the same 5 pounds. These spikes don't ever last very long with me, but they have to be dealt with right away.

 

In totally different news, I blogged a while back about a photo shoot and a three-hour interview with Nandy and me. It was announced via facebook yesterday that the new issue was out. Two Kroger stores and PHC did not have them yet, but I hit the jackpot at Kroger in Evans. I grabbed about eight copies off the newsstand, and, after lunch with my bride, I took a few of them over to PHC. They were closed for lunch, but I caught Mark outside, and he, Donna, and I looked through the issue. If you haven't heard or seen by now, Nandy and I are on the cover, and there's about 8 pages in this issue dedicated to the Augusta's Biggest Loser competition. For my out-of-town friends, I'm hoping they will have it posted online before too long.

 

 

My First Prolonged Struggle...

One of the things I read in "The Biggest Loser: Success Secrets" that stuck with me was this: you will always either be losing, gaining, or maintaining weight, and the people that can shift seamlessly (and often) from one phase to the other are those that are going to experience the most success with long-term maintenance. (By the way, if you are trying to lose weight, the book I just mentioned is a terrific resource - I've mentioned it in my writings before, probably in my healthyagain2010 blog. You can pick it up nearly anywhere - from the bookstores, amazon.com, walmart.com, or whatever your preferred shopping outlet is.)

 

It would be negligent and unfair of me to get online and tout my success without acknowledging my shortcomings, as well. This week has been a struggle for me. I haven't eaten particularly badly; I have had weeks where I have eaten worse, and weighed less. But old habits can creep back in, and old patterns of eating are not that far removed from me. I have been extremely tired since around the third week in July, and one of my old eating patterns was to fill in the gaps in my rest with food. I find myself eating to keep going, and while my food choices aren't bad, the constant eating is. After a few consecutive mornings of weighing more than I was comfortable with, I have shifted back into biggest loser mode. Now is the time I get to practice what I preach to others - finding the motivation to do right without the pressure of the competition.

 

If you are wondering how "bad" my weight has gotten, I'm up about 6 pounds from where I want to be. Not much, compared to the 143 I dropped from November to May. Not even much compared to the nearly 9 pounds I dropped in the last 11 days of the competition. But way too much for all the work I've done. I am back on the wagon with a vengence - no carbs, no fast food, little fat, lots of chicken, eggs, veggies, and fruits. I'll report on my progress, of course. I'm still trying to learn how to walk on this balance beam called "maintenance".

Maintenance... (the blog, not me!)

For anyone stumbling across my blog and noticing something missing, NBC Augusta has changed over to a new hosting company, and thus, all the videos that I had linked to in my blog are no longer available. Most of them I have managed to save, and I will go back and change the links so that my online record of my journey is complete, without the holes! Meanwhile, you can see my videos on the "media" page at http://www.edchavis.net.

 

Three Months...

Three months ago I stepped on a scale and posted a ridiculously low (for me) weight of 199.4 pounds, sealing a win in the Augusta's Biggest Loser competition. I can't say that I have kept every single pound off, because that weigh-in was the result of 11 days' worth of working out an average of 3 hours per day and consuming very few calories. As soon as I got some food in me, and got properly hydrated, my weight settled back up to about 208 pounds. In the ensuing three months, it has been up and down some, but on average, I have stayed right around 211-212 pounds. I immediately shift into weight loss mode when it creeps up over 215, because I don't want to have to return to writing down everything I eat! When it creeps up, it's usually because of sodium in pre-prepared foods; when I work on getting the water off, the weight comes right back down. Because I know what to do, I have actually seen the number on the scale drop 5-6 pounds in a day. Note: this has only been my experience during maintenance - if you are trying to lose, don't think I have some quick weight-loss program to drop that much. Because I continue to eat mostly healthy foods, and use extreme moderation in "cheat" areas, my weight gains have not usually been due to excess calories, but excess water retention.

 

I have added a lot of foods back to my diet, but I eat them in different ways now. If there is something sweet, or something laden with calories, that I just HAVE to have, I fill up on something healthy first, and then take just a bite of the food I thought I had to have. One thing that PHC taught me is that the satisfaction of food lasts only as long as it stays in your mouth - once it goes down, food is food (not nutritionally, of course, but as far as the whole eating experience is concerned, the pleasure stops at your taste buds).

 

One thing that has struck me three months later is that I have sort of lost the feeling of "I feel better". I know mentally that I am better, and I do feel good, but it has been 9 months since I started my life change, and I've just about completely forgotten what "before" felt like. Anytime I carry something heavy, I try to remind myself that I lived for years carrying that weight around, and more. When I look in the mirror, I still see the fat guy - I wrote about this in an earlier blog entry, and actually had a brief discussion with Liz Hill about it earlier this week. But I have all this evidence of my success, and I continue to surround myself with it. When I run, I listen to the audio track from our finale show. I listen to myself describing my goals, and how I hoped to inspire a change in others. I hear my before and after weights read aloud, and I listen to the experiences of my fellow contestants. I try not to talk about it quite so much anymore, especially to those who were around me during the entire six month process. The video archives, my pictures, my blog entries, the publicity stuff I've collected - I keep them all around me, as reminders that I am still on this journey.

 

To those of you who are still in your own weight loss struggles, you can do this, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My prayers are for you every day - Eric, Peter, Linda, Valerie - and several within my own church family, who continue to battle on.

...And in the Tribune...

How Ed Chavis Became Augusta's Biggest Loser

This is the last in a three-part series of articles I wrote about my weight loss experience, in the hopes of helping others know that there is a way out of the sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits that are so prevalent among those in the ministry...

In the Yellow Pages...

Exit Interview...

Thursday evening around 5:00 PM, I sat down with Nandy Cordova, my Augusta's Biggest Loser teammate, co-winner, and friend, and a reporter from CSRA Active magazine, to do the interview that goes with the photo shoot we did last Friday. Bill (the reporter) had shown up back on November 18 to get our basic information for the first issue that mentioned Augusta's Biggest Loser; he made a return visit in May, when we were nearly done; this interview was the final part of the story.

 

Up until now, all the press stuff has been "stand here, say this, smile pretty" type stuff. This was different - very different. Bill took us all the way back to the beginning, back to the application/selection process, and we got the chance to rehearse the entire period of time from then until now, step by step, in roughly chronological order. He asked each of us the same questions, with Nandy providing her answer first, and then me. Many of the questions we answered with matching answers; some revealed two completely different perspectives. The most notable differences in our experiences mainly centered on two areas: 1) I had a little bit better idea of what to expect going in; and 2) my battle for first place was nowhere near as intense as hers. He also asked us some questions about our friendship with each other, forged through not only the shared experience of leading the competition for so long and being on the same team, but also having a lot in common, such as both of us having lived in Amarillo, Texas, and similar likes/dislikes.

 

We also had an opportunity to talk about some of the ugly side of the process, which will never make it into print. Some of our more - shall we say - negative experiences, we haven't discussed with anyone except those involved, our spouses, and each other. As thorough as my blog was during the competition, there were incidents and experiences that I did not write about. At times during our interview, Bill turned off the recorder, laid down his pen, and let us talk freely. I know the first rule of interviews is to never trust the reporter, but Bill has done an excellent job covering us thus far; our photo session with the magazine's photographer had been extremely enjoyable; and he has a vested interest in presenting us in the very best light possible, as the companies that sponsored the competition also are heavy advertisers with the magazine.

 

A question that struck me as odd had to do with the reaction of other people to our new selves; he wanted to know if our spouses were jealous of the new-found attention we are getting from the opposite gender now that we aren't heavy anymore. Nandy instantly answered yes - she's 33, a very pretty lady, and garners a lot of unwanted attention from guys. I told Bill that I had not experienced anything like that, and, if anyone was looking, I had not noticed it. He didn't buy my answer, and appealed to my position as a minister to 'fess up! I'm 46, still a little pudgy, and going gray; I have crooked teeth, I wear inexpensive clothes - I'm not going to get much attention, which is fine with me.

 

After the questions about the contest, the process, and our lives since then, he did a word-association drill with us, and gave us the chance to talk about Omni, PHC, and NBC. We both expressed the sentiment that we had been given our lives back, and are forever grateful for the experience. Before we left, Bill asked if we had any desire to be involved with the competition in the future, and we both said yes - we had often talked about wishing we had had some of the previous winners around (I talked with Kristy Youngblood frequently, but we never had the opportunity to see any prior contestants during the competition). I thought he was speaking in general terms, but he then asked me if I would be interested in covering the next season of ABL for the magazine as a special correspondent. I hope it works out - that would be a lot of fun, and I think the things I have learned in my experience could be valuable if I had the opportunity to talk to future contestants.

 

The final question of the day was "Complete this sentence: If you're thinking about applying for Augusta's Biggest Loser......" Nandy said, "...don't put it off - do it!" (or something to that effect). I measured my words carefully, and I said, "... don't bother if you are not prepared to completely give your life over to it, and give it 100%." I told him I didn't mean that in a negative sense, just that I knew what kind of effort it took to get to the top of the heap and accomplish my goals, and it was all-day, every-day, all I thought about, a constantly-consuming process.

 

I looked at my cell phone as we got up to leave - three hours had passed since I had arrived at Starbucks. We guiltily noted that we had taken up one of their tables for three hours without buying anything, but I'm sure no one in the shop took it personally. All in all, it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening, and I can't wait till the magazine hits the newsstands.

 

Final Photo Shoot...

Wow... I didn't realize that it has been almost two weeks since I wrote anything in my blog! That is partially due to rather extreme busyness on my part, and partially due to the fact that nothing has really changed that much with my weight loss journey in the last two weeks. I can't even remember if my weight was up or down last week at PHC; all I know is that I keep hovering around the 211-pound mark, and I really want to get down a little lower than that. This entire battle has basically come down to two main things: managing water, and managing carbohydrates.

 

I have gotten back into a little more regularity at the gym, and I am seriously considering joining the group power class that meets at Walton Way at 5:45 AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's a very small class, from the looks of it. I've not yet gotten the nerve up to speak to anyone there that is working out; some of them seem to know each other casually, but none of them have identified me as Augusta's Biggest Loser. The managers there know who I am, but no one else does. I've gotten back into my treadmill routine, and this past week, started learning how to use some of the machines.

 

As I've mentioned on facebook, we had a photo shoot on Friday, July 16. It's probably the last one Nandy and I will be doing together as winners. We've done all the Omni stuff and all the PHC stuff that we have to do, and this last one was for the final installment of our story in CSRA Active magazine, a great local fitness magazine that launched shortly before we started season three of ABL. We met at the photographer's nearly-impossible-to-find studio and dragged our wardrobes inside. (He had asked us to bring a variety of clothing, so that all the shots would not be of us wearing one outfit, and so that our colors could be coordinated.) Nandy had a black and yellow top that she was bringing, and so I brought a yellow shirt and black slacks to coordinate with that. Everything else was a wash - she had orange, I had red. She had purple, I had blue. At least the yellow/black thing went together well enough to get us in a nice shot for the cover. Rob Forbes probably took 40 pictures of us in one pose, then turned us back-to-back and shot another 40 pictures of us like that - closeups, distance, elevated, different lenses, etc. Then he shot me alone with my now-way-oversized suit coat and my way-oversized Biggest Loser t-shirt. Nandy had to leave and get her "before" pictures, which she had forgotten at home. She arrived back at the studio, and then I had to leave, because I had forgotten mine, as well! Rob was pretty amazed at the difference between our before pics and our current weights. When I got back, Nandy showed me her "before" shirt, which was the green "tent" she had worn on the night we found out that we were in the competition. I don't remember her being that big, just like she doesn't remember me being as large as I was. I guess seeing each other almost every day for nearly 7 months does that. Unlike previous photo/video shoots, this one was simply pictures - no interviews. It was very relaxed and a lot of fun. He promised us that we would get copies of the pictures he took, so when those are available, Nandy and I will put those up for everyone to see. The ones he showed us in the camera were really good.

 

More importantly than the pictures or the fun, Nandy and I had some time to talk. We are both struggling right now with self-image issues - concerned about looking fat, still seeing our old selves in the mirror (and storefront reflections, car window reflections, etc.) It's really almost like we've done all this work, but still feeling fat. Obviously we are both very different, but the mental pictures are not so easily changed. I'm beginning to see how an anorexic or bulimic person who weighs 85 pounds can look in the mirror and not see what everyone else sees, and that's not something that a person of normal (or at least consistent) size can understand. It was good to be back with my ABL partner again - there is something in shared suffering and experience that makes the path a little easier.

 

Hopefully it won't be two weeks before I post another update!

 

Eight Months In, The Training Wheels Come Off...

I have now made it through the six-week stabilization process without my weight at PHC ever going past the "danger weight" they set for me. Looking over the past six weeks, my weight has fluctuated between 211 and 215 on their scales. I still want to get down a little more, so we have gone back to the 4-day flush - the process that we began Biggest Loser with. My weigh-ins are down to once per week now, and until I mess up and cross that danger point, I don't have to turn in a weekly food log anymore. I will continue to weigh myself daily at home, and I will continue tracking my food intake at fitday.com. If you are reading this and trying to lose weight, you really need to set yourself up a free account at fitday.com. Best tool I've found for tracking your weight loss, your progress towards your goal, and your food's nutritional content.

 

My weigh-in today was something of an accomplishment - Friday was our wedding anniversary, and on Tuesday, my friend Ashley brought us a huge cake for our anniversary, which was frosted and then covered in fondant. We ate on it for a few days - I ate too much - and then decided we needed to quit. We also ate out Friday night at Red Lobster, and I ate all sorts of stuff I would not have normally eaten, like a Caesar salad (don't let anyone fool you into thinking a Caesar salad is a good choice - LOADED with calories), fried mozzarella cheese sticks, garlic biscuits (which tasted really salty to me), fried popcorn shrimp, mashed potatoes, and then a little cake when we got home. If you are thinking I've fallen off the wagon, or lost my mind, I assure you that I haven't. I've done the work; I've learned what it takes to counter the effects of one bad meal, and I've learned to plan ahead so that I budget my calories. What did the folks at PHC say about my splurge? They weren't concerned because my weight was right in the range where it needed to be, and besides, everyone deserves to celebrate every now and then. Priscilla reassured me today that if I could keep my weight off successfully for a year, I would never have a weight problem again. I'm sure everyone that loses has the potential to fall back into the old habits, and I know some who have, but I will always remember where I came from and what it took to get here.

 

Exactly eight months ago today, we started our first day on the food plan and our first day in the gym. I just looked back in my blog and read the things I wrote about on the night before. The topics were things like being grateful for the opportunity; the need for a good support group; my first statement of a goal, which was to break 200 by the last weigh-in; and my best wishes for all the other 11 contestants. I wonder where they all are today. Some of them, I know where they are. I keep in touch with Charles and Nandy fairly regularly; I see Lisa and Bronnie posting every now and then on facebook. I talk to Laycee every now and then, and still see either her or her husband David in Walmart. I hope everyone is doing well; we worked too hard from November to May to go back to the old lifestyle. The one thing I need to do is kick it back into high gear with my exercise. I'm getting some, but not enough. (I had to laugh today - Donna at PHC told me I looked like I had tanned a little bit, and I told her that I had been out playing disc golf a couple of times. She asked if it was hard, and I found out that she was wanting to know what level of intensity it was physically. One of their clients has apparently told them that it was like working out.... what a joke. It's like a walk in the park.... well, actually it IS a walk in the park!)

 

Besides the food thing, we had a good anniversary weekend. We bought a new grill and cooked out Sunday night - burgers, hot dogs, and a couple of pieces of chicken breast for me. We went downtown for the fireworks, and I spent my time enjoying the show instead of trying to take a ton of pictures.  Monday, my sister came into town, and she didn't recognize me for a second. She had not seen me since I started my journey (except in pictures), and I guess it was a bit of a shock. It's still fun to surprise people who haven't seen me!

 

 

Back In The Groove...

We all get lazy from time to time when it comes to diet and fitness. Busyness, lethargy, overconfidence, poor time management - all these things, and others, get in the way of our goals sometimes. I have a goal weight that I want to be at, and I'm not quite there. If you tell yourself enough times, "just once won't hurt me", those instances will start piling up, the clothes will start getting tighter, and the scale will start creeping up. Eating strict 5 days a week and not-so-strict 2 days a week will devolve into 4 1/2 and 2 1/2; then 4 and 3; and if you're not careful, the old behaviors will slip back into becoming habits.

 

I am reminded of a verse which has nothing to do with weight loss, but everything to do with slipping back into old habits: "Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip." (Hebrews 2:1). When I was in Augusta's Biggest Loser, I gave over nearly every waking second of my time, thoughts, and energy to the process of trying to lose weight. I am finding that maintenance requires that same diligence, and I also find myself not wanting to apply it all the time. But I keep reminding myself of where I've been, what I've done, and the consequences of going back; looking through my before and after pictures in my ABL scrapbook keeps me focused on the goal. I have the broadcast of our finale downloaded onto my mp3/video player, and I relive that experience at least once a week while I am walking, running, or working out. I have faithfully kept my appointments at PHC so they can help me monitor my weight. Mostly it's gone well, but today, I feel fat. I look fat. It's definitely one of those times to tighten up the belt, or, as the King James Bible says, time to "gird up your loins".

 

One old habit I have fallen back into is the habit of staying up too late. Daris, one of the finalists on The Biggest Loser, said during the finale that he learned that if you eat supper at 5 PM, and then stay up until 3:30 in the morning, you're going to get hungry, and you're going to eat. I don't stay up THAT late, but midnight - 1 AM is about normal for me. But if the alarm is going to go off at 4:30 so I can be at the gym by 5:00, a midnight bedtime isn't going to be conducive to achieving what I want to achieve.

 

So often we know what to do; actually DOING it is another thing altogether, isn't it?

Fear of Failure...

There may be some heavy folks out there who are as brave as can be, but my experience has been one of "I can't". Not being athletic, talented, or "cool", I was always afraid to try new things. I think having a history of failures creates a fear of adding to that history and reinforcing that poor self-image. When you are used to living like that, it is very difficult to get out of that mindset.

 

Saturday morning, I was brought face to face with that old pattern of behavior, and it was over something silly. It wasn't football, baseball, running, or biking; it wasn't even anything particularly athletic.

 

It was disc golf. I was invited to go play a round of disc golf with some of the guys from church. Here's all the instructions you need to get started: Stand here and throw this round thing. Walk over to it, pick it up, and throw it again. Repeat this sequence until you land the disc in the basket at the end of the hole. I had all the necessary qualifications - I can see, I can walk, I can bend over, and I can throw a frisbee. I was on a roll of doing things I'd never done before (like strap myself into insanely-nauseating roller coasters, running for fun, losing 140 lbs., etc.), and so I willingly accepted the invitation.

 

I left for the park at the appointed time...

 

I almost drove past the park. On purpose. My fear of adding to my legacy of failure had nearly paralyzed me, and I came this close to simply driving on by and running some errands. I actually had to have a conversation with myself, and force myself to go play. Everyone I went to play with was athletic to some degree or another (although, I repeat, this sport takes little athletic prowess). I was the only first-timer in the bunch, and I did not do very well. But it did not matter - I forgot all about trying to be "good", and just focused on having fun, enjoying the fellowship, and getting outside and enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning.

 

Old mental habits and attitudes are extremely hard to break - when we rehearse them, we strengthen them, and deal a serious blow to the likelihood that we will ever do anything to change them. You can change them with time, but studies tell us that it takes many, many positive affirmations to counter the effects of one negative thought. And when that thought has been reinforced over and over through experiences, thoughts, and fears, it can be crippling.

 

After many failures, Thomas Edison said, "If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward".

 

Weight loss has stopped; the media circus has ended; but I continue to grow and change in ways I never could have imagined.

 

Man, this is fun!

Augusta Chronicle Article

Because there are some people following my blog who aren't on facebook, I am posting the link to the article from The Augusta Chronicle that includes a section about my weight loss. This article ran on the front page of the religion section, and took up nearly the entire page, save for an article by a gay minister (boy, THERE'S an oxymoron), and a small article about religious iPhone apps.

 

http://chronicle.augusta.com/life/your-faith/2010-06-25/many-ministers-struggle-obesity?v=1277495605

The Struggle Continues...

It has now been almost six weeks since the final weigh-in of Augusta's Biggest Loser, and I have been on a schedule of mostly maintenance, with some stricter days thrown in. My weight has fluctuated up and down, which has taken some getting used to after six months of almost steady decline. Since November of last year, any slight gain has thrown me (and the fine folks at PHC) into a minor panic. Now it's just, "I'm up a couple... oh well. It'll come back off." During the competition, I was so focused on trying to drop the weight that I never gave a lot of thought as to how I would keep it off once the pressure of the contest was off of me. So far, it's not been too bad. There have been days I have eaten some things I wanted to - cake on birthdays, a little bite of sweets here and there, and a couple of trips to all-you-can-eat buffets. During the competition they told us to stay away from those places, but now during maintenance, they are telling me that buffets are good choices IF you go in with the right mindset.

 

It really is largely about the mindset in all areas of this journey. I can remember past attempts at weight loss, and I remember what it felt like mentally when I quit. I definitely noticed a difference in my thinking when I was "in gear", and when I just let everything slide back into neutral. Thus far, there has been no regression into neutral thinking. Although my family is sick of it, I still pull up reruns of The Biggest Loser online. I look at my Biggest Loser notebook - my written compilation of my weight loss journey - at least once a week. I watch Jillian Michaels' new show, "Losing It With Jillian". The refrigerator still is full of sugar-free jello, low-fat cheeses, and other, better choices. I guess the closest biblical analogy I can think of is to notice how many times the Bible commands us to "take heed", meaning to give constant attention to what is to follow.

 

One of the comments that was made to me online during the finale of The Biggest Loser was that I had done better than a lot of the people on the show. The other day, I went online and looked up all their statistics. For the season that just ended, there were 22 competitors, and if I had been on the show, and lost exactly the same as I did "at home", I would have done better than 16 of the 22. The only people who had a higher percentage of weight loss than I did were the final four, plus two at-home players. When you consider all the resources available to those who make it onto the show, that's mind-blowing. I cannot say enough about PHC and our trainer, Johnnie Hughes, at The Omni. Several of my friends have tried to do PHC's program in the past, and I don't know what caused their experience to be less than successful, but as far as I am concerned, those people are THE best at what they do. Are they perfect? No - no one program is perfect for everyone; we expressed a lot of frustration at times during the competition, but this "speed weight-loss" process that we went through means there's much less time for course correction. It wasn't a matter of "let's try this for a week and see what happens" - it was often literally a day-to-day change, with lots of experimenting. If something didn't work, they re-wrote the plan, or threw it out and started over. So anyway, that's my PHC commercial for the week.

 

Speaking of which... new PHC commercials should begin airing in the next few days. I will put a couple of them online later on; if you follow me on facebook, they will be up there (I do this not for vanity's sake, but because of the many friends and family that do not live in the Augusta area, and would not see them otherwise). In other media, there will be an article in the Augusta Chronicle "Your Faith" section about pastors, the church, and obesity, for which they photographed and interviewed me extensively. Hopefully something I said will make it into the article, as he interviewed several other pastors, as well. I think the last little bit of media will be CSRA Active Magazine, which said they would profile the winners in the next issue, but I have not heard from them yet. The commercials will air for the next year, I'm sure, but all the "new" will be off of them long before then. I wrote my final article for the Baptist Bible Tribune last night and fired it off to the editor. Hopefully the experience I've had and the journey I'm on will inspire someone who needs a little push and a little hope.

 

P.S. - Put on 3 pounds over Father's Day weekend / fish fry; lost all of them plus one extra for good measure. Current weight at PHC is 212, five pounds below my "danger weight". I'm small enough now that I can tell when I'm up 3 pounds, and it didn't feel very good at all. Would like to drop another four or five soon.

 

 

Weight Loss vs. Maintenance

Just a few thoughts on the topic of weight loss vs. maintenance: which is harder?

I keep going back and forth on which one is more difficult. Obviously I have had great success during the weight loss phase, and maintenance thus far has not been difficult. But in the last few days, I have let out a little more slack in the line, so to speak, and I think I have hit a spot that may turn out to be tougher to navigate than I originally anticipated. I have discovered a few tendencies that I need give more attention as I go through this stabilization process:

1. I have discovered that if I put on an unusually high amount of weight in a very short period of time, it's usually sodium and water retention issues, not fat. I can usually fix this by making sure I get extra water.

2. For me, the discipline of saying "no" is easier than the discipline of saying, "yes, with limits". Refusing to eat certain foods takes a set of blinders, but it's pretty easy to shut that stuff out. Limiting portion sizes, or knowing when to say "when", requires much more focus and discipline. I've mostly done OK with this; this past weekend brought several occasions of eating "freestyle" - a couple of birthdays, an out-of-town trip, and a couple of fast-food meals. I've not made "horrible" choices; but I can notice the cumulative effects of eating some things I have not been eating. Now it's time to see if I can get the train back on track, as I am pushing against the upper limits of where I should be pounds-wise.

3. I have not been burning calories like I was previously - last week we were at camp all week, and then out of town yesterday, and today was pretty ugly as I only got about three hours of sleep last night. So I have not been to the gym in about 12 days, and I can tell it. My energy level is down a little, and my running has lost a little (although I ran in the Six Flags parking lot yesterday, and didn't do too badly, considering I had been walking through the park for 9 hours before that, and it was brutally hot). So tomorrow morning, my schedule will be undergoing an adjustment - up at 4:45, in the gym by 5:30, an hour of work there, then a dash home to get ready for work, take my daughter to her job, and then back to the church to begin my day of work, hopefully by 8:00 AM, or shortly thereafter.

4. The standard has changed a little bit - during ABL, the only scale that mattered was the digital scale we weighed on every Monday night. Now, the only scale that matters is the one scale I totally ignored for six months - the scale at PHC, the weight loss center. I still don't really track that one too closely, because if I keep my scale at home well within my safe weight range, I will be okay at PHC. There was a little panic for me this morning, as my scale got up to around 216, up from 209 just 48 hours earlier. But seven pounds in 2 days is water weight, mostly, and it should come off fairly easily as I up my water intake and tighten the reins back on my diet.

Today, four of us "losers" had to go to a media production studio to shoot video and record a few sound bites for TV and radio spots for PHC. Nandy and I were on the call sheet, of course, as were Lisa and her son Tanner. I hope it went okay... the production people noted that I had "done this before", as my calling as a minister of the gospel frequently puts me in the position of speaking publicly. I also have done some amateur production work of my own, recording narration, voiceovers, and other bits of audio and video for various reasons. I hate hearing my own voice (who doesn't?), but hopefully my efforts were adequate for their purposes. Nandy is so bubbly, and that really comes across well on camera; Lisa is very well spoken, and does very well on TV also. I basically did it all through a walking coma, as I have a total of approximately 6 hours of sleep since Saturday night (it's currently Tuesday). But I was happy to help PHC any way I could; even if I were not contractually obligated to do appearances such as these sessions, I would still do them. These folks gave up a lot of time and attention to make sure that we losers were taken care of, and gave us the knowledge and tools to change our lives. I will be doing some work for them in the future - website updates, probably some graphics work, and hopefully, some opportunities to help some of their clients.

The Ups And Downs Of New Clothes...

One of our speakers at camp this week asked me, "What have you done for clothes during your weight loss? Obviously your sizes changed frequently..." I told him that I had to shop cheaply - Walmart, Kmart, Goodwill, etc. Now that my size has settled off and stopped changing every month, I have collected a few more articles of clothing than I had during the contest. I have tons of workout t-shirts, a few pairs of shorts, enough shirts and slacks to get me through a week at work... but one area is, sadly, rather skimpy.

 

Suits. The uniform of the ministry. Well, in our church, and in most like-minded churches, anyway... one of my facebook friends posted pictures of himself preaching in blue jeans and an untucked, button-down shirt - we at our church probably couldn't get away with doing that. I guess there are advantages to starting your own church - you can set the "rules" (or at least, the expectations) as you go. Regardless, coats and ties are what those of us in leadership at our church do, and I'm okay with that. I would personally feel uncomfortable preaching a Sunday morning service in less formal attire, but I'm not here to throw stones at anyone for how they choose to dress on the platform or in the pulpit. I suppose there could be a stewardship argument made for simpler dress - the apostle Paul might have chosen a $15 shirt and a $20 pair of slacks over the indulgences of expensive suits that cost hundreds of dollars. But anyway...

 

I purchased a new suit last month in preparation for our Biggest Loser finale. It was a pretty big expenditure for me - but a lavish change from the sport coats and casual slacks I had been wearing for the previous six months. However, it has become painfully obvious that I have exactly one suit, and it makes an appearance every other week. Now, our church takes good care of us, and I have no complaints whatsoever. A complete wardrobe change, however, is not part of our usual monthly expenses, and I feel guilty about purchasing clothing when the van needs repairs, the air conditioner is on its last leg, as well as all the other expenses that we all have from time to time.

 

This evening my wife asked me, "I'm going to Goodwill... wanna go?" Frequently I don't want to go... the women's clothing section takes approximately five times as long to go through as the men's section. But I said I'd go (I haven't seen her since Monday, except for Wednesday night), and so we climbed in the car and made the trek to Evans (about 12 miles away) to go to the "good" Goodwill. I went to the men's section to look through the single rack of suits and jackets they had. A lot of the items looked familiar - I have seen the same items on many trips to this store. Seeing as how I already have a navy blue blazer, I don't need a tuxedo, and double-breasted suits refuse to make a complete comeback, there wasn't much left to browse through. A solid gray jacket caught my eye, and I picked up the hanger - 42 long, the label said. My size. I slipped on the jacket, and it fit pretty well. I pulled it off, looked carefully at the coat and the pants that accompanied it. No flaws, no wear patterns, no nothing. Just a suit, in excellent condition. I nearly ran to the dressing room to try on the slacks - bingo! I had gone hunting, and had found my prey.

 

Excitement got the best of me, and I returned to the rack to see what else might be available. I knew the odds were pretty slim of lightning striking twice in the same place, but it did. A black suit, this time - a 4-button black suit by some Italian brand, in perfect condition. The pants had been taken in, and were snug at the waist, but closer inspection proved that they could be restored to their original size by an average tailor.

 

For the massive sum of $30, plus dry cleaning and a little alteration work, I have two more complete suits in my closet. God is good!

 

A Week of Temptation...

I have just arrived back home after a week at youth camp. Phone service was very sporadic; rather than continually frustrate myself over a non-existent signal, I decided to not write anything until I returned home.

 

My new relationship with food was cast into a stark light this week. Our camp always has the most amazing meals, for a camp. I've been to camps where breakfast is cereal and toast; we serve, on various days, pancakes (not the frozen kind, but straight off the griddle), grits, biscuits and gravy, sausage, eggs, bacon, cereal, muffins, and other treats. For lunch, there's a hamburger day, a taco day, a spaghetti day, and a sandwich day (first day of camp - an easy meal). Dinners were beef stew, barbeque chicken, ham, and chicken casserole.

 

Almost none of these items have made their way back into my food choices yet.

 

Before camp, I went back and forth between "I'm going to take all my own food and be very strict", and "I'm going to eat whatever they serve, just in reasonable quantities". I'm still early in the stabilization  phase at the weight loss center, so I didn't want to stray too far from that. Bottom line, I went without much of a plan at all, except to pack a few cans of tuna and a bag of apples. I had actually not really been aware of two things in years past  - one, I can stroll into the kitchen at any time and get anything I want to eat; and two, we have a pretty well-stocked kitchen. One of our counselors had her husband pick up a couple packages of those thin 100-calorie wheat buns, and a bagful of Carbmaster yogurt cups. I was able to eat a lot of salads, turkey sandwiches, baked chicken, and veggies when available. I splurged a couple of times during the week - had to grab a couple of homemade chocolate chip cookies (okay, they were from pre-fab cookie dough, but still); I passed over ice cream dessert, cake, and anything that was sold in the canteen besides lowfat yogurt and diet Coke. Contrary to what I anticipated, I didn't spend my week looking longingly at all the foods I "can't" have. It was more like "ya'll can eat that, but I'm not interested." I sent our nutritionists an email midway through the week, thanking them for changing the way I look at food.

 

I have to let things kind of settle out for a couple of days, but I think I did lose some of that extra weight at camp this week. I had intended to run and work out; I did run Tuesday morning, but two miles in, I realized that if I got hurt, I would be useless for the rest of the week. I strapped on a pedometer, and logged over 12 miles of walking per day just in the normal course of a day at camp. One of our speakers wanted me to help him get started on his weight loss journey, and for exercise, I suggested he start by walking. You won't lose as quickly by JUST walking, but you can still lose if your nutrition is on point.

 

Some of you may be thinking, "Augusta's Biggest Loser is over; why are you still writing about food and weight loss?" Well, I will be writing about other topics, but there are a lot of people who are on their own weight loss journey, and when you are in the beginning or middle stages of the process, it can seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I continue writing to let those folks know that they can come out on the other side successfully.