Rough Start

Last Tuesday, I posted my weight of 259 pounds. On Thursday, I started feeling sick, and that sick feeling lasted all the way through the weekend. While I wasn't feeling well, I didn't work very hard on my eating plan, and defaulted to "easy" food. Sunday morning I got on the scale, and it read 266 -- a seven-pound gain over 5 days. Not what I was hoping for, obviously. Since Sunday, I have been very careful, and am back down to 259.

Exercise-wise, on Monday I started running again, building towards an eight-minute mile. This morning, I did intervals of running and walking, with my last "run" interval at 9.0 mph on the treadmill.

Because of my setback over the weekend, I'm now 2 pounds behind on my goal. 255 would look really good next Tuesday....

Back At It, Again....

Hi, all.... well, it's been nearly four months since I last wrote a blog entry. Partially because I have been extremely busy with life in general; partially because that busyness has led to a lot of stress eating, poor food choices, and little energy to get much exercise in. I haven't given up; there have been periods when I have done extremely well with my diet. But they have been few and far between.

Sunday, I read a blog post by Shay Sorrells from Biggest Loser season 8. Shay was the heaviest woman to ever appear on the show (weighing in at 476 pounds). She lost 172 pounds on the show, and another 52 pounds by the season 9 finale. But she has been struggling, and documents how she even got to the point that she was not even acknowledging to others that she had ever been on the show. Her new starting point was one of honesty, and she wrote a blog about the seven mistakes she made after leaving the show.

So.... in the interest of honesty and transparency, I am re-starting my blog, and letting everyone know where I am at in my journey. I ended Augusta's Biggest Loser in May of 2010 with an "official" ending weight of 199 pounds. I probably only weighed 199 pounds for about an hour, having nearly killed myself that week to push the scale down. I actually used my vacation time the week leading up to the weigh-in, spending the week in the gym, and out in the yard, doing everything I could to notch that magic number on the scale. I was eating basically nothing but cabbage soup, taking in about 500 calories a day. I knew I would win... I knew that weeks ahead of time, just by doing the math. Coming into the last 11 days, I calculated that if I could hit 200 pounds, my closest competitor would have to lose nearly 25 pounds in that 11 days in order to catch me. So I did it, just for the ability to say that I had reached my goal of getting below 200 pounds. As soon as I got some food in me, and got re-hydrated, my weight almost immediately rose to my pre-starvation weight of 208 pounds. I managed to keep myself at a pretty respectable 215 pounds... for about 6 months. Then I moved into the season of the candy and sweets holidays -- Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas... by November 2010, I was up to about 231 pounds. I struggled with the 235-lb mark for a while... then 240... then 250.... Through this holiday season, I've been struggling around the 255-260 mark. So from where I wanted to stay, I'm up about 35-40 pounds.

These are tough pounds; it's not like when I started Biggest Loser. My official starting weight was 342, but I knew that I was not at my heaviest then. I'm pretty sure at times, I was well over 350, probably pushing 360. So I've basically kept 100 pounds off for nearly two years now. But I'm not satisfied with that.

Last week I tried on my "big" coat -- the suit coat that I went on TV with to show how much I had lost. It still swallows me up, which I am thankful for. But I also tried on the suit coat that I wore to our finale, and I see how much work I have to do. So here's my goal: as of today, January 3rd, I weigh 259 pounds. I am going to try and lose 39 pounds by my birthday in April, an average of a little less than 2.5 pounds per week. (By comparison, during Augusta's Biggest Loser, I averaged over 5 pounds per week.  I started January of '10 at 280 pounds, and by my birthday that year, was down to 212 pounds.)

I will update my blog at least each week with a progress report, in the hopes that this will help serve as accountability for me. I'll also update it periodically with what I'm doing to reach my goal.

Ding.... "RUN."

So I'm grousing about my weight, and I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to start running. For real.

 

I hate running. I hated it when I was a kid... I hated it in college... I hated it during Augusta's Biggest Loser. Now I'm not talking about interval training on the treadmill... I don't mind that so much. But running out on the road (or in a parking lot) -- I'd just as soon not. But if I don't get some serious calorie burning going on, I'm going to be in trouble.

 

I've seen some of these "Couch to 5K" programs before, but I never really paid them any attention. After all, I wasn't "on the couch". But has time has moved on, and without the support of a team, I've been moving closer to "couch" than to "5K". I've never run more than a mile, and I could barely do that. I did better sprinting during our workouts than distance/time running. But there is that motivation to get moving.

 

One of the things I said during my interview with CSRA Active magazine was that before Augusta's Biggest Loser, my life was about "I can't". I can't fit into a seat; I can't climb much; I can't find clothes to fit; I can't, I can't. After our finale, I said that now, my life was about "I can". I guess it sounded like a good quote, because they printed it as a pull quote. A year and a half later, I find myself questioning my ability in many different areas.

 

So I set to work finding out all I could about the Couch to 5K (C25K) program that, if all goes according to plan, will have me running a 5K by Thanksgiving. Isn't there a Turkey Trot or something? Anyway, I found an iphone app that does it all for you. (Except for the running.) Not having an iphone, I went to the android market and found an equivalent app. I set it up, got dressed to run, and headed outside. I turned it on, hit "Go" on day one, and the guy said, "Warm-up." Five minutes later... Ding... "RUN". So I ran. When it said "WALK", I walked. And around and around the parking lot we went, "Michael" and I. (I discovered later the female voice -- "Allison" -- was British. No thanks; it kinda felt like that gal that used to host "The Weakest Link". Wasn't interested in that.) I lost count a few rounds in, but it wasn't that long before he said, "you are halfway done".

 

The second half went pretty much like the first half, including sore knees, a gimpy ankle, and knives piercing my lungs. (Did I mention I hate running?) And then, the words I was longing to hear: "Cool down."

 

Day one, done. Three days a week for the next nine weeks means I have 26 more days of this routine. Wednesday and Friday are a repeat of today, and then next Monday, we bump up the running and reduce the walking. This is exactly the kind of program that I have traditionally quit after about a week and a half. But I'm going to give it my best, and we will see what happens.

 

All this, coupled with proper nutrition... I hope to be back down in my goal weight range by Halloween.

Getting back on track...

If this seems like the hundredth blog post I've written about getting back on track, it's because weight maintenance is a life-long, never-ending battle. Anyone who says, "I'm going on a diet" is already doomed to fail, because they have already established in their mind that there will come a time when they can go back to "normal" eating. While there is a place for treats and indulgences from time to time, the "new normal" knows they have to be few and far between. When "few and far between" becomes "more often than I should", it's time to get serious.

 

I'm going on vacation in 3 days -- the first vacation I have taken since I started my weight-loss journey 20 months ago. This may seem like an odd time to clean up the diet; the old me would have rationalized that I'm going to be eating out a lot next week; worry about the calories when I get home. But I want to make sure that when I AM eating away from home, I'm careful and diligent. And frankly, my waistline can't wait another week! So.... lots of protein, minimal carbs, upping the exercise, and hopefully some time to learn how to rest again.

Wow -Two Months....

Well, it has been two months since I last penned a blog entry; but writing about my weight loss journey kept me motivated, and so I decided to take my digital "pen" in hand and write something...

 

As I write this, it's about 6:45 AM on Tuesday morning at youth camp. Thanks to the marvels of technology (with a D-minus to T-Mobile for failing to deliver a decent data signal out here in the middle of nowhere), I am able to read, write, etc., and share with you who may be reading.

 

This week, I am getting a fresh remembrance of the power of shared experiences. We have a camper with us this week who is a PHC client. Those of you who followed our journey in the media know that PHC is the weight loss center that held my hand every step of the way until I reached my finale weight. When I saw that we had a teen who was a PHC client, I realized that it had been a very long time since I have talked to someone who was going down the same road I had been down. I am watching my p's and q's this week, conscious of what I eat (mostly!), and running/walking every chance I get. I normally log about 17,000 - 20,000 steps per day at camp, and have been looking forward to this week. When I am tempted to just let my guard down and eat whatever I want to, rationalizing that I will "walk it off", I look across the way and see Katie sitting there, sipping on her water while her friends are scarfing down Yoo-Hoos and ring pops. As a leader, I have access to eat what I want, whenever I want it; very thankful that in spite of all the "kids" food we have here, we also have fresh veggies, fruits, wheat bread, and other items to keep me (and Katie) on track!

 

Getting ready to go back on TV for Biggest Loser; Nandy's "where are they now" story airs tonight. Sometime in August they will come knocking on my door for a follow-up interview; THERE'S some motivation... if the camera "adds ten pounds", then I have a lot of work to do!

 

Praying today for my friends who have shared my journey with me: Linda in south Georgia; Stephanie in Missouri; Eric in Wisconsin; and most of all, my new little PHC friend who is trying to fight the battle of a lifetime at the tender age of thirteen...

One Year After Finale...

One year ago today (well, the actual date would be Saturday, but it was the third Friday in May), I stood on a scale and set an Augusta's Biggest Loser record with a 143.4-lb weight loss. Others lost more, both in season 2 and season 3 - but no one had surpassed losing 41% of their body weight. There was a lot of pressure (including some from myself) to push down below 200 pounds by weigh-in time on that Friday night. The last eleven days were a furious push to the finish - my trainer gave me a four-hour per day workout routine; the weight loss center had me on about 600 calories per day. I started that eleven days at 208 pounds, and lost 9 pounds by the final weigh-in.

 

Extreme? Yes. Recommended for everyone? Categorically, no. But for me, in that moment, I learned that I could do anything that I set out to do. And that was totally worth it!

 

Where am I at, one year later? Well, to be quite honest, I weigh about 18 pounds more than I want to weigh. I'm fighting the "spare tire" along with all of my middle-aged friends. I don't exercise as much as I was exercising last year; I'm not quite as strict with my diet. Last year I bought several pairs of denim shorts with a size 34 waist, and I am still wearing them this year. (Before ABL, I was wearing size 48, with elastic or drawstrings, and that was a stretch.) In November of '09, my shirts were a 3X, and my girth at my navel measured a staggering 59 inches. When I began writing about my experience, I wrote a list of things I couldn't do when I started. These included rolling over in bed without running out of breath; squatting down to pick something up off the floor; and climbing the stairs to my office without getting winded. It has been so long since those things have been hard that I don't even remember what it felt like to live life so restrained. The only thing on that list that is difficult is the squatting, and that's due to creaky knees!

 

I keep mementos of my weight loss journey around me all the time. I still have the pictures on my desk of myself and my teammates; on the wall is a copy of the article in the Augusta Chronicle about ministers and obesity, which featured my picture on the front of the religious section; and I still have the notebook that I put together with photos, my blog entries, and other things that remind me of where I was and what I did. (I also still have half a box of CSRA Active magazines with Nandy and me on the cover, if anyone wants one!)

 

I'm always conscious of what I eat; if I cheat, I'm aware of what I'm doing, and I try to compensate for it. I am still very careful with carbs, sodium, and red meat. One of the things that surprised me when I was finished with ABL was how much I had learned without realizing it. During some of our sessions at PHC Weight Loss Center, we were given a lot of information - almost too much to absorb in one sitting. I still have notes from those sessions, but I no longer need to refer to them. One year later, much of it is just second nature. I have a whole new set of "defaults" - things that I do automatically. If I'm at a restaurant, I'm looking at salads and grilled chicken. I have not eaten a fast-food burger since October of 2009. I don't think in terms of "going on a diet" - to me, going on a diet meant putting myself on a self-depriving regimen of specific foods in order to lose weight, and that at some point in the future, I would no longer have to be "on a diet". Everyone is "on a diet" - your diet is simply what you eat. There are just certain foods that my diet no longer includes, as well as some that it shouldn't include, but that I still sneak a little of, anyway. My weaknesses? French fries, candy, and portion sizes.

 

I had a conversation with a friend recently about body image - for a very long time, there was a huge disconnect between the "me" I saw in photographs, and the "me" I saw in the mirror. The guy in the pictures was skinny; the guy in the mirror was fat. I wrote about this in my blog last March or so... since then, I have learned that body dysmorphia is a common condition in those that lose large amounts of weight. I "feel" fatter at 230 pounds than I did at 350 pounds.

 

Many of you who followed my journey and read my blogs last year have said to me that you don't have "the willpower" to lose weight. Overcoming bad habits is NOT easy - in any area of life - but it's totally worth the effort! Don't give up. On the night we all found out that we had been selected, they had the previous year's winners talk to us about the competition. Bernard got up and said, "if I can do this, ANYONE can do this." I thought he was crazy - but he was right, and I extend the same advice to you: If I can do this, you can, too.

 

 

Thoughts on Starting Over...

After 6 weeks of either my wife being sick, or of me being sick, the weight is up. It happens - it's not a huge deal.

 

In the book "The Biggest Loser Success Secrets" (which I highly recommend), Pete Thomas offers this bit of advice: everyone is in one of three phases with their weight - they are either gaining, losing, or maintaining. Those who are successful at keeping their weight off are those people who are able to shift easily from one phase to another. I've just gone through a phase shift - losing again.

 

A lot of people can maintain their current weight without too much thought or effort; I am not one of those people. Just as a diabetic  who is serious about controlling their diabetes has to monitor everything they eat, I have discovered that I have to be that diligent about what I eat.

 

The battle is fought in the mind. If you can win the battle of the brain, you can win the battle of the bulge. Fortunately, I'm currently in the right state of mind - throwing out the bread from a grilled chicken sandwich, skipping the french fries, accurately recording everything I eat, and putting into practice everything I learned during my weight loss journey. Now the trick is to stay in this mindset until those 20 pounds are gone.

 

I'm looking forward to the "snug" clothes becoming loose-fitting again!