Wow... I didn't realize that it has been almost two weeks since I wrote anything in my blog! That is partially due to rather extreme busyness on my part, and partially due to the fact that nothing has really changed that much with my weight loss journey in the last two weeks. I can't even remember if my weight was up or down last week at PHC; all I know is that I keep hovering around the 211-pound mark, and I really want to get down a little lower than that. This entire battle has basically come down to two main things: managing water, and managing carbohydrates.
I have gotten back into a little more regularity at the gym, and I am seriously considering joining the group power class that meets at Walton Way at 5:45 AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's a very small class, from the looks of it. I've not yet gotten the nerve up to speak to anyone there that is working out; some of them seem to know each other casually, but none of them have identified me as Augusta's Biggest Loser. The managers there know who I am, but no one else does. I've gotten back into my treadmill routine, and this past week, started learning how to use some of the machines.
As I've mentioned on facebook, we had a photo shoot on Friday, July 16. It's probably the last one Nandy and I will be doing together as winners. We've done all the Omni stuff and all the PHC stuff that we have to do, and this last one was for the final installment of our story in CSRA Active magazine, a great local fitness magazine that launched shortly before we started season three of ABL. We met at the photographer's nearly-impossible-to-find studio and dragged our wardrobes inside. (He had asked us to bring a variety of clothing, so that all the shots would not be of us wearing one outfit, and so that our colors could be coordinated.) Nandy had a black and yellow top that she was bringing, and so I brought a yellow shirt and black slacks to coordinate with that. Everything else was a wash - she had orange, I had red. She had purple, I had blue. At least the yellow/black thing went together well enough to get us in a nice shot for the cover. Rob Forbes probably took 40 pictures of us in one pose, then turned us back-to-back and shot another 40 pictures of us like that - closeups, distance, elevated, different lenses, etc. Then he shot me alone with my now-way-oversized suit coat and my way-oversized Biggest Loser t-shirt. Nandy had to leave and get her "before" pictures, which she had forgotten at home. She arrived back at the studio, and then I had to leave, because I had forgotten mine, as well! Rob was pretty amazed at the difference between our before pics and our current weights. When I got back, Nandy showed me her "before" shirt, which was the green "tent" she had worn on the night we found out that we were in the competition. I don't remember her being that big, just like she doesn't remember me being as large as I was. I guess seeing each other almost every day for nearly 7 months does that. Unlike previous photo/video shoots, this one was simply pictures - no interviews. It was very relaxed and a lot of fun. He promised us that we would get copies of the pictures he took, so when those are available, Nandy and I will put those up for everyone to see. The ones he showed us in the camera were really good.
More importantly than the pictures or the fun, Nandy and I had some time to talk. We are both struggling right now with self-image issues - concerned about looking fat, still seeing our old selves in the mirror (and storefront reflections, car window reflections, etc.) It's really almost like we've done all this work, but still feeling fat. Obviously we are both very different, but the mental pictures are not so easily changed. I'm beginning to see how an anorexic or bulimic person who weighs 85 pounds can look in the mirror and not see what everyone else sees, and that's not something that a person of normal (or at least consistent) size can understand. It was good to be back with my ABL partner again - there is something in shared suffering and experience that makes the path a little easier.
Hopefully it won't be two weeks before I post another update!
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