Relax...

So far this week, I have lost basically nothing. Again. Yes, I know this is about the fourth time in the last five weeks I have started a blog entry with that sentence. Last week after I had only lost a little by Friday, I was panicking. But this week I decided, along with my counselors, that I need to get back to a "normal" diet. I've been eating tons of protein, done a couple of "plateau busters" along the way, and pretty much eliminated most carbohydrates from my diet. I'm hoping to be down some by Monday night, but if I'm not, it's not the end of the world.

 

Two things, I think, have caused this attitude shift. One is the fact that last week, I hit the halfway point on my weight loss, and that was a huge victory for me. 72 pounds from November 6 - January 11 is terrific; some official "Biggest Loser" contestants don't have that kind of result. I now have nearly twice that much time left in the competition to drop the other 68 pounds of my original goal. As of this writing on Friday, January 15, there are 120 days remaining until the finale. The other thing is that I have been able to build up a fairly good lead over the last couple of weeks, and a week or two here and there of low losses is not going to cost me the lead. Every week when we get the results emailed to us, I sit down and do the calculations - where I'm at, where my competitors are at, etc. - I know exactly how far in front I am at all times. I do this for my female co-leader, as well. The only day the lead truly matters is May 15th, but I'll take all the other days I can get - those days are motivators for me.

 

My "que sera sera" attitude has had no bearing on my workouts. I try to work every day as if I am trying to catch up to the leader. The workouts since last Wednesday have been pretty tough; this morning I was in a sweat at 6 minutes into the routine. Yesterday I tackled the Stairmaster machine and wrestled it for 20 solid minutes, the default workout time on that particular machine. I argued with myself for the last 10 minutes - "good Ed" was sitting on one shoulder, urging me forward; "bad Ed" was sitting on the other shoulder saying, "10 minutes is good enough - you've never gone 10 before." I had this conversation at 10 minutes... at 7:43... at 5:51... even at three minutes left, I was still debating within myself as to whether or not I could do it. Saturday morning I will have this internal fight with myself all over again.

 

I also have still not eaten anything that I'm not allowed to have. There have been times when I accidentally went over on a carb, but it wasn't anything I couldn't eat. I haven't had a slice of pizza, a French fry, or a cheeseburger since the first of November. Even if I don't ultimately win, I want to be able to say "I gave it everything I had", and "I never went back to my old way of eating." Finishing well is more important to me than finishing first.

 

Now that I have hit the halfway point, my next two weight loss goals are: 1) to reach 255 - that will make me lighter than a friend of mine; and 2) to reach 242.8 - the 100-pound mark. I hope to hit the first mark in about 3 weeks, and the second in about 5 weeks. I'll keep everyone posted!