Since we began with the ABL competition, I have done some things that could be taken as being vain, even though I have tried my best to explain what I was doing. On my facebook page and on here, I have put pictures up of me before I started losing weight, and pictures taken along the way - down 50 pounds, down 70 pounds, down 90 pounds, etc. I write in my personal blog about 3 times a week or so about my experiences. I share my victories (and my defeats) with my friends. And I always feel like I have to write, "I'm honestly not trying to brag or anything..." I have wanted to explain why I was doing what I was doing, but I never could find the words to correctly express my intentions. Until now...
In my email this morning, I learned that Kindle, the electronic book device from Amazon, now has an application that will allow you to download and read digital copies of books on your PC. I installed the application, and the first book I downloaded was "Believe It, Be It: How Being the Biggest Loser Won Me Back My Life" by season 5 winner Ali Vincent. I've been wanting to read it for a while. I read almost the entire book this morning, and in it, she talks about the struggle she had trying to change her mind about herself. She said that she still saw herself as that fat girl, just a smaller version of it. The way she got past it was to begin, to use her words, "collecting evidence of (her) success".
Johnnie tells us there are no moral victories in this competition, and he's absolutely right in regards to the competition itself. There are no prizes for tiniest waistline, smallest shirt size, fastest 5K run, heaviest bench press, best "after" photo, or even for the most pounds lost. But the tiny waistline, the small shirt size, the 5K time, the weightlifting capacity, the photos, and the scales are "evidence of your success". As I've written before in my blog, when I look in the mirror, I still see the guy in the "before" photos. I need evidence of my success in order to re-define who I am.
Nandy and I were at the TV studio Tuesday morning, she with her big ol' pants, and me with a gargantuan suit jacket that used to fit me. Bragging? no... just collecting evidence of our success. My last three weeks on the scale have been like this: no change, down 10, up one. I was not upset or concerned with the "no change" or the "up one", because all along the way, I have been collecting evidence of my success. As I post pictures and statistics about pounds and inches lost, I am not trying to tell the world, "look what I've done"... I'm telling the old self-image in my head and my heart, "look what I've done". My blog, my photos, my ever-changing clothing sizes, my "PR's", my health status - all those things are evidence of my success. The people that I'm sharing those things with are my "witnesses" that help validate that evidence.
If by the grace of God I do happen to come out on top in this competition (and that is by NO MEANS a "given"), I will not regard that as having achieved my goal. My goal is to change my life for the rest of my life - a victory would only be another piece of evidence of my success, no more and no less important than fitting into the next size smaller jeans. If I do not win, that fact simply will not be part of my collection of evidence. To my fellow competitors - do NOT look at winning or losing this contest as the end-all, be-all gauge of your success. Twelve of us were chosen for this competition; ten of us are not going to "win". But all of us can use what we have accomplished as evidence of our success!
In my email this morning, I learned that Kindle, the electronic book device from Amazon, now has an application that will allow you to download and read digital copies of books on your PC. I installed the application, and the first book I downloaded was "Believe It, Be It: How Being the Biggest Loser Won Me Back My Life" by season 5 winner Ali Vincent. I've been wanting to read it for a while. I read almost the entire book this morning, and in it, she talks about the struggle she had trying to change her mind about herself. She said that she still saw herself as that fat girl, just a smaller version of it. The way she got past it was to begin, to use her words, "collecting evidence of (her) success".
Johnnie tells us there are no moral victories in this competition, and he's absolutely right in regards to the competition itself. There are no prizes for tiniest waistline, smallest shirt size, fastest 5K run, heaviest bench press, best "after" photo, or even for the most pounds lost. But the tiny waistline, the small shirt size, the 5K time, the weightlifting capacity, the photos, and the scales are "evidence of your success". As I've written before in my blog, when I look in the mirror, I still see the guy in the "before" photos. I need evidence of my success in order to re-define who I am.
Nandy and I were at the TV studio Tuesday morning, she with her big ol' pants, and me with a gargantuan suit jacket that used to fit me. Bragging? no... just collecting evidence of our success. My last three weeks on the scale have been like this: no change, down 10, up one. I was not upset or concerned with the "no change" or the "up one", because all along the way, I have been collecting evidence of my success. As I post pictures and statistics about pounds and inches lost, I am not trying to tell the world, "look what I've done"... I'm telling the old self-image in my head and my heart, "look what I've done". My blog, my photos, my ever-changing clothing sizes, my "PR's", my health status - all those things are evidence of my success. The people that I'm sharing those things with are my "witnesses" that help validate that evidence.
If by the grace of God I do happen to come out on top in this competition (and that is by NO MEANS a "given"), I will not regard that as having achieved my goal. My goal is to change my life for the rest of my life - a victory would only be another piece of evidence of my success, no more and no less important than fitting into the next size smaller jeans. If I do not win, that fact simply will not be part of my collection of evidence. To my fellow competitors - do NOT look at winning or losing this contest as the end-all, be-all gauge of your success. Twelve of us were chosen for this competition; ten of us are not going to "win". But all of us can use what we have accomplished as evidence of our success!
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